Tuesday, January 15, 2013

What if your child was being bullied? What if it was you being bullied?

So I'm wondering something, in other professions, do the older, more experienced professionals bully the new, less experienced professionals? How silly that must sound. Why in the world would a grown adult feel the need to bully someone in their same profession just because the "newer professional" is newer. The only thing I can think of is that they are intimidated by these younger, "newer" people. Do other professions have those who set up websites with a fake person behind it (or perhaps their wife is the face on the website) just to bully and criticize the newer people. Can you imagine...your insurance salesman gets on Facebook all day and calls out the "new" guy and how can he know what he's talking about because he hasn't been in business "long" enough! Or your dentist wife goes to all the trouble of making videos to mock other dentist that are newer and not as experienced (or in other words, as old) as the "experienced professionals". Yes, I know dentist have a formal education, and as photographers most us don't have a formal college education in photography, but does that give someone the right to bully someone else?
Making fun of a group of people without pointing any fingers at anyone in particular seems harmless I guess. I personally would not do it to make myself feel better. But when you get personal and provide your followers with a direct link to the person you are bullying, then you have gone too far. I think the people jumping in to give those mean comments are just thankful it's not them being bullied. Just like those kids in school that go along with the mean kid bullying the little guy just because he's different, these followers that chime in are no different. They are just happy it's not them being made fun of. 
What makes people feel good about making fun of other people?

Isn't it time to stop trashing people? If you're not happy with your business, get your butt off Facebook and do something about it...besides making fun of someone who is trying their hardest to be successful. 
People don't recover from being made fun of...do the bullies realize this? It's serious...and choosing to end a life because you have been embarrassed to death is freaking serious! It happens all the time...the nurse that just took her own life because of the prank the dj's played on her...was that prank really worth her life. I know the dj's didn't have any clue that would happen, but it did happen and they have to live with that. Everyone needs to stop it now. Treat others how you want to be treated. 

Yesterday I came across a group of people who were making fun of a fellow photographer/ blogger. My heart hurts for the sweet girl who was made fun of and laughed at by these "professional" photographers...and to make fun of her for being religious...that was low. I want to stand up for her...tell everyone that jealously will get you no where...if you don't want to buy what people are selling then don't...but don't make fun of them for trying to pursue their dream. 

Who will they target next? Who will they make fun of for incorrect spellings and punctuation? Who will they call out because they don't have enough pictures on their website or because they started a blog because they don't have any business as a photographer? Geez...I'm probably next and there will be more behind me...but when that one person decides to end their life because of you making yourself feel better, then I hope you are charged with their death that resulted from cyber-bullying and public humiliation. If not here on earth, then it will be in God's hands. 

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20 comments:

  1. How sad!!!! I think you should post what you said on their site so they know that it is unacceptable. Trust me, if I went to their site and saw them making fun of people and especially because of their faith in God...I would not be back. At the very least, leave some type of comment. Maybe you should give us a link so we can go to their site and comment ourselves on their poor conduct. I find myself saying all the time that people are crazy. There are a lot of great people but a ton of crazies! I think it takes people pointing out to these people that the way they are actiing is appauling! Yikes!!!!

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  2. Wow, Marsha! Good for you for sticking up to the bullies out there! I have seen people go off on others' professional fb sites and blogs about a picture or a pose and it has made me feel sick. I understand the frustration in this industry that I think everyone is feeling over so many people starting businesses without any education, formal or informal, but instead of posting hateful, mean things, why not privately send a letter of encouragement and a link to some online workshops or just give some constructive advice. If we want to see this profession become a little more professional, bashing someone publicly is NOT the way to do it. Kudos to you, Marsha for bringing this up. I think it is way past time someone did!

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  3. Your words are very true. Those that are doing the bullying are the ones with insecurities and they feel better and more powerful with thier actions towards others. I've been bullied as a child and as an adult. It's a sad sad world. What we can do us to teach children to be stronger for themselves and to have compassion For others.

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  4. "Treat others how you want to be treated." To me this says it all. And as the saying goes, when you tear someone down, it says a lot more about you than it does about them. I really appreciate what you wrote here.

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  5. My stomach dropped reading this today.......

    This is sickening...... and I am sorry for the photographer that was bullied..... no one should be victim to this sort of harassment and public humiliation.

    What is so unfortunate is that this is very common...... and not just in the Photography circuit.

    These "mean girls" are all around and I do believe that most of them have some sort of complex or insecurity of their own.....and somehow bashing others, makes them feel better about themselves.

    I completely agree with Stephanie....... "When you tear someone down, it says more about up than it does about them"...... SO VERY TRUE!!!!!

    Thanks for bringing awareness to this Marsha...... I hope your friend can move on and see how many people are here to support her.

    Lisa

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  6. Many years ago, my son's first grade teacher told her class, "Be a lifter, not a leaner." That simple phrase has stuck with us,and quite a few of the students in her class that day.
    Cyber-bullying is a serious problem, not just among kids, but among adults and professionals. The ability to make fun and bully from a distance and anonymously makes it too easy.

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  7. oh my gosh. that is so sad. i can't imagine public humiliation like that. and who on earth would do that??? that's awful. way to go for calling them out marsha!!

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  8. I applaud your words! In fact, I was just thinking about this same thing after reading a thread in a forum to which I belong that was trashing another photographer for apparently not having the right equipment and thereby allegedly ruining the photos they were taking - all this without seeing the outcome of said photos. So sad!

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  9. i can't even imagine why any bullying occurs. online too? why???
    thank you for calling these people out marsha!

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  10. I love you for writing this. I have been bullied by the person to whom you refer in the first paragraph. I'm dumbfounded by this attack. Thank you for standing up to it.

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  11. Thank you for taking the time to post such a meaningful article. I feel that you speak from a strong platform and perhaps if just one person listens, it will, it can, make a difference. I was sick to read this and hope that this photographer and all people in her position with have the strength to continue on.

    I've been disappointed on forums with the number of photographers who seem to show lack of support for new photographers as we were all there once, but with the cyber world of Facebook, it certainly takes on a new and ugly dimension. As Martha so aptly put it, "Be a lifter, not a leaner," so perhaps we can start the new year with treating others as we would like to be treated. I think that was one of the most important things my mother taught me when I was small and I've tried to instill it in my own children.

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  12. Thank you so much for writing this. I have not been bullied (probably because I don't put myself out there enough) but the fear of being laughed at or made fun of or bullied has seriously hindered my desire to post sessions, and to really grow my business. Why can't we all help each other out? Everyone had to start somewhere. What the world needs now is more love, not hate.

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  13. I feel certain I know who you are talking about... I started following "her" on facebook a while back because I thought a video I watched was funny. Lately it just seems extremely mean spirited. Nothing that she posts is intended to help anyone at all. What astounds me are the numbers of people who comment and agree and say "that's right!" Isn't it a sad commentary on our world.
    The best part of all is that she isn't even and has never been a photographer! I can't figure out what she intends to gain by being such a be-otch!

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  14. I think every time anyone of us sees this we should just post the link t this post. I never want to chime in because people are so mean, then they rationalize it if you say anything then attack you! I think this post would just say it all!

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  15. Bravo! It's ridiculous how bad this kind of stuff has gotten.

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  16. I feel terrible for the photographer that has been targeted. That's awful. I was nervous when I first started that other photographers would be mean and not interested in helping. I have been so lucky. I have made many photog friends. One day I had a client ask me an off the wall question and I had no clue how to handle it or how to edit the photo the way she was requesting. What did I do??? I emailed one of the most well known photographers in my town and within 10 min he asked me to forward him the image and he would see if he could do what she requested. Then he told me in detail how to do it myself. and he followed it up with if you have difficulty with it let me know and you can swing by my office and I will sho you myself. Not only did I learn something new but I realized that if we reach out to others and help eachother no matter what the situation it will pay off in the end. A few months ago I saw a friend of mine had a photo session with a new photographer. On her FB page the photographer talked about how she was new and was learning as she went and would love advice. She had a good eye but I felt need a little advice. So I emailed her and told her that if she ever needed anything to let me know. People need to stop being mean to pther people who love the same craft. Were not here to steal someones clients or copy a photo...so sad to see this. I was talking to another photo friend the other day and she was telling me about an angry photographer in her town that would go through Facebook and then call the city to see if these photographers had a business lic. I mean really? Do something else with your time...like edit your own photos. bottom line...If you treat people well...it pays back!

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  17. Thank you for sharing this. I am just starting out myself and I have been criticized in a million different ways. The good thing is....photography is something I am passionate about and I am learning to ignore the little rumors from fellow photographers. True professional photographers should not feel threatened by the newbies and if they are- they should approach it in a professional way because it's what makes a professional a Professional not because you have been doing it for decades.

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  18. Awesome article!!!! I've been saying the same thing for years! My fav quote: "If you aren't happy with your business, get your butt of facebook and do something about it." LOVE IT!!!!

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